Highground Chronicles:

“I'm Getting Married – Have Some Bourbon”

Afternoon of May 3rd, Mary's Kitchen

by Margaret Lion

* * *

Matilda was done. Or rather she felt done. She was sitting on the kitchen floor leaning against the kitchen cabinets, hands folded in her lap. It was the position she assumed when she felt defeat (or so her husband Walt would gently point out to her). She had sat in this position in a hotel suite when Highground was first occupied. She had only gotten up when she heard Baroness Eleanor was safe in Muses.

Eleanor walked into the kitchen. She was wearing one of her purple gowns that although medieval and “modest” let everyone know she was a woman. (Matilda secretly thought that Eleanor could break any corset with the sheer strength of her will.) Through the corner of Matilda's eyes she could see that Eleanor was carrying glassware. The Baroness sat down on the floor next to Matilda, leaning against the cabinets as well. She poured Maker's Mark into a shot glass and handed it to the boggan.

“Drink?”

“God yes.” Matilda took the glass then looked over at Eleanor, who was drinking Kahlua and cream. Or rather Kahlua colored cream, the alcohol content of the glass being so very low.

“Still can't hold your drink?”

“No. You have seen me a few weeks ago in Muses. Drunk out of my mind. I still feel sorry for those who were with me.”

“You're a cute drunk.”

“I'm ridiculous and sidhe abilities be damned I still make a fool about of myself.”

“That's why you're cute.”

There was silence between the two women. The sounds of trees rustling and nature could be heard coming from the land outside.  

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry you are so upset by this marriage.” Eleanor said.

“I don't know why I'm taking this so hard.” Matilda swallowed some of her drink and Eleanor filled the glass again. “I know you have to get married. I've always known that. When,” Matilda stammered “Dom and Del were here and were your heirs you had a reprieve. But since. I guess it was just a matter of time before your ‘duty' caught up with you.”

“I know. The morning after the takeover I woke up and knew I had to have a new heir. I was furious that I had to worry about breeding when my people were dying. I delayed and ignored the whole baby issue and now. Well Duchess Verlayne has ordered me to be fruitful and multiply.”

“What if your child isn't a sidhe?”

“Oh Matilda, let's hope that doesn't happen. I wouldn't care but the child would be crucified by the nobility.”

“I guess Verlayne didn't like a sluagh being your heir?”

“Didn't like it? She practically ripped my head off. I thought I could get away with it. My dreams for – well you know, my dreams for Highground. I thought if Lara was my heir and took over that would give Commoners more of an equal footing. Oh Matilda, I was so close. I thought this is it. All of the nobles in Highground are dead. This is the moment I can begin dismantling feudal power.”

“You are such a dreamer!” Matilda began to laugh.

“No I have dreamers. I myself prefer to plan.”

Matilda stared at Eleanor. “I love you. And I don't want to see you hurt. And Gods, Eleanor, I can't go through losing Highground to another murderer.”

“Matilda I have had the same fears.”

“How do you know he won't take Highground from you?”

There were tears in Eleanor's eyes. “I don't. He has said that he won't.” Matilda snorted. “And I have no reason to believe him other than he could have taken the barony from me at any time. Or maybe not. Maybe this was all a plot and he is really an Ailil. Matilda, I don't know. If he were to challenge my rule I could not win. There is no one in the Kingdom who would support me. I am utterly alone among my peers. I can't say no to the proposal. I have to marry. And I would rather marry him than anyone else.” She gave Matilda a little smile. “At least it isn't Duke Leonides.”

“Oh Gods! That is not funny Eleanor!” The two women began to laugh.

“You really love him?”

“Yes, I do. I've loved him for a long time. I feel like a 16 year-old Fiona virgin around him.”

“Oh don't let Jain hear you say that.”

“I feel sorry for Fionas now!”

“You've got it bad.”

“I do.”

“If he beats you-“

“I'll kill him.”

“Good girl.”

“But if I don't get the first killing shot in, I'll be doomed. He's one of the greatest warriors to ever walk the world.”

“I'll distract him.”

The two women smiled.

“What does he like to eat?”

“I don't know. There is so much I don't know about him.”

“And you're in love with him? How? Why?”

“His soul, Matilda. I love his soul.”

“Oh Eleanor. If I weren't so tired I would slap you just to make sure it was really you.”

Eleanor raised her right hand, making a vow. “It's me, I promise. And I can't even believe myself sometimes. I think I latched onto wanting Aziraphale so badly because I was so lonely in Muses. I couldn't spend the time with you here and, I missed-“ Eleanor paused. “I missed Dom and Del. I missed having people I could be myself with and not have to put on airs. I let my guard down and I got in trouble for that.”

“You have been very tight-lipped about your time there.”

“Let's just say I think it will all work out for the best and I am more ahead of the game than I thought I would be. I still want – my dream.” Eleanor and Matilda clasped hands. “I want that in the very depths of my soul. But I have to wait. And perhaps the Dreaming wishes for me to have a child. And Aziraphale and I, well, we would produce an interesting child.”

‘Why? Because he is so uptight?”

“He's the Scion of Ares.”

Matilda stared at Eleanor. “Well that will be an interesting mixture.” She patted Eleanor's hand. “The people won't like another noble with power here. We trust you but Dom and Del. They wounded the heart of this land more than you will know. People are grateful and pleased with your generosity and your contributing to the rebuilding, but even some people are afraid you are not you. Or that you will also betray us. And Aziraphale. Well most of us have never seen him, me included, but he has a reputation that mirrors that of his lord. He will need to woo us.”

Eleanor nodded. “He can woo rather well. I think people will find that he is fair. At his core he is a knight. He protects the weak.”

“Knights do not always protect the weak.”

“No. But I think that Aziraphale does. There are many in Muses who love and care for him. I know Lady Kaye thinks very highly of him.”

Matilda pursed her lips. “All right. I shall have to ask her about him. Maybe she knows his favorite food.”

“I don't even know what his favorite car is.”

“You and your cars.”

“Watch it.”

Matilda looked squarely at Eleanor. “Do you think Verlayne will ever forgive you for choosing neutrality during the civil war?”

“No. And neither will LeBois. In all honesty Matilda, I am afraid to meet them again. I have had such love and respect for LeBois, and Verlayne is my house lord, but I doubt either of them would be pleased to see me. If anything they will probably feel sorry for Aziraphale. In fact, I'm sure all of Ifflwyn nobility feel sorry for Aziraphale.”

“He's a lucky bastard.”

“I'm lucky too. I never thought I would feel this way.”

“ Waterloo .”

“Hmm?”

Matilda began to sing the ABBA song. “He's your Waterloo, your Achilles tendon, your weakness. Lord, I bet he could ask you to roll over and play dead-“

“I've never been good at that Matilda.”

“So you could actually say no to him?”

“Yes. He will not be able to hurt anyone in Highground. He will be my consort not the lord of this land.”

Matilda sighed. “ Waterloo .”

“He won't be taking up permanent residence here to Highground. He may only spend one or two nights here a week. The rest of the time he will be working throughout Ardendale. And he will need to spend time with his liege, Count Shiraev, in Muses.”

“Maybe he should marry His Excellency.”

Eleanor giggled. “I've often thought that.” Matilda joined in the laughter. “There are times I think the only person Aziraphale can love is Vladimir .”

“I can just imagine.”

“I can't be jealous of another man.”

Matilda stroked Eleanor's hair. “I don't want him to hurt you.”

“He already has.” Matilda stared at Eleanor. “Not physically. He is a powerful man he does not need to hurt others to validate his own strength.”

There was a pause. “Eleanor, what happened?” Matilda pressed.

Eleanor took a deep breath “I told Aziraphale that I loved him on November 1 st . I gave him my favor. He told me that he could not tell me how he felt about me. At the time I thought he meant he couldn't say that he loved me because he was a knight and I was a baroness. I tried to get him into bed –“

“That's my girl.”

“-but he refused.”

“What?”

“So I spent my time ‘courting' him. I sent him letters and presents and visited him, maybe once a week or every ten days. I didn't want to invade his space and whatever my empathic and intuitive skills they just don't work on him.

“Then in February, when the duel was happening, Countess Wolfram-Smythe told me that I was in deep trouble with our Duchess Verlayne. I had to stop being a “commoner-lover” and act more like a member of the nobility. And I had to start having babies.” Eleanor sighed. “I almost lost Highground on that day, Matilda. If Count Shiraev had not intervened and supported me, I would have lost everything. I am very loyal to him and grateful to him for this.”

Matilda thought for a few moments. “I will hold him in higher regard. I did not realize. “

“I'm sorry I have not told you. I have not told anyone. The shame I feel-“

“Eleanor it is alright” the boggan put her arms around the sidhe. “None of us have been ourselves since the betrayal and occupation. And I know you have taken it very hard.”

Eleanor leaned against Matilda, her head on the boggan's shoulder. “If any one of the nobility saw us now I would so lose my title.”

“Aw fuck ‘em. Just tell them we're lovers or that I'm your concubine.” The two giggled again.

“Oh Matilda, everyone knows I am strictly into men.”

“Ok, we'll tell them I'm giving you pointers on pleasing Walt.” Matilda burst into peals of laughter and Eleanor joined in. “What are concubines for but to give pointers?”

“And just think I'm soon to get a consort.”

Eleanor was leaning against the boggan and Matilda kissed her head. “So continue your story about your future consort?”

Eleanor sat up but still kept her arms entwined with Matilda's. “Countess Wolfram-Smythe told me that Aziraphale thought my behavior towards him was ‘beneath my station.'”

“What?!”

“I thought Matilda that I was going to die when I heard those words. I spent the rest of the day promising myself that I would not cry, and I would not break. That I would stand up to my evil, pompous, backstabbing peers and get through that day with more dignity then even they could muster combined. But it was so hard. I wanted to run away and hide. And not just because I was in trouble for my political views and might lose Highground, but because, well, it seemed to me that Aziraphale despised me and I had made an idiot out of myself over him.

“I stopped writing to him and communicating with him. Then after the Court of Winter I realized it was foolish to not speak with him. He and I are both barons and subjects of Count Shiraev. So I went to Aziraphale and had the oddest conversation with him. I apologized for my behavior and he asked me why I was apologizing! I was just speechless!

“That man is dangerous. Waterloo!”

“I told him that he was the first man I had ever been in love with but from here on out I would treat him like a good friend.” Matilda frowned at Eleanor. “I thought that was what he wanted. Then I told him that the next time he thought I behaved beneath my station to tell me first and not my liege!”

“Oh good for you!! And what did he say to that.”

“Well, it seems like he was trying to apologize or not take any blame for the Countess's assessment. It was very strange to me. He said that he did not say such things as ‘beneath her station' to My Lady but that after discussing my behavior they came to the same decision. He said this twice. I then said to him well why didn't you just tell me to leave you alone? And he said that due to our stations at the time, that would not have been appropriate. I then just said ‘Oh Aziraphale' and got into my car and drove off. I vowed to myself that I would treat him as a good friend and thank the Dreaming that I at least had experienced being in love, no matter how humiliating and idiotic. You know, I really do feel sorry for Fionas. I'm very worried about Jain.”

Matilda chuckled.

“I have made such a fool out of myself and the moment I let go, the moment I decided to stop clinging to Aziraphale, and stop putting my needs ahead of others, I become engaged to the one man I wanted in the first place.”

“Does he love you?” Matilda asked.

“No. He doesn't love me Matilda and he never will. But as long as we can have peace and harmony between us that will be enough.” Eleanor leaned her head once more on Matilda's shoulder. “And I think there is a part of him that can be kind. He was very romantic when proposing even though he had probably been ordered to propose to me by Count Shiraev.”

Matilda gave Eleanor's shoulder a squeeze. “I think I've known for sometime that you love him.” Eleanor raised her head and looked into Matilda's eyes. “You always smile when you say his name. Your eyes, sparkle. You love him. Fool.” Matilda patted Eleanor's knee. “Well I suppose you want me to help with the wedding, prepare a room for His Lordship and then find you a nanny.”

Eleanor smiled. “Yes.”

“Will do.”

“I will do everything I can to protect Highground, Matilda. I will do everything in my power to keep Highground free and safe from tyranny.”

“Lady, of that I have no doubt. I just hope you aren't broken in the protecting.”

Eleanor smiled. “I'm not breaking, Matilda. Ever. That's the gift of flexibility and compromise.”

Matilda kissed Eleanor's forehead one more time and then got up. “Shall I make you some macaroni and cheese before I go?”

Eleanor smiled. “Yes please.”

* * *

NOTE: From this day forth Matilda will think of and call Aziraphale “ Waterloo .” No, she won't call him Waterloo to his face. :) She will, however, sneak the song onto the bridal shower soundtrack.