The Highground Chronicles
“I'm Getting Married – Stop Choking On Your Coffee.”
Morning of May 3rd , Mary's Kitchen
by Margaret Lion

* * *

Matilda once again thanked her lucky stars that her boss, Baroness Eleanor Elise ap Eiluned of Highground let her have the day after every holiday off. Hence one could sleep off May Day activities (or continue the partying) and still enjoy coming to work. Plus Eleanor didn't mind that the house was still in disarray from the May Day celebrations. She knew Matilda would clean it up.

As Matilda opened the outside kitchen door with her key and typed in the pass code she was greeted by a rich, mouth-watering scent. Now that was one of the fun things about the Baroness, she could make her own coffee and liked to share. And Eleanor liked good coffee.

Matilda came into the kitchen, set down her purse and keys and reached for the coffee. Eleanor was drinking her coffee in her casual robe, hair loosely pulled back. She looked up from the paper she was reading. “Hello Matilda.” She was smiling all over.

“Well you had a good May Day Celebration. You are positively glowing.”

“I did. And yes I am. How was your celebration?

“Fabulous! I can't tell you how nice it is to have our home and land back. I think all of Highground was still singing yesterday.” Matilda poured the rich brew into a large cup and sat down at the table. Talking to Eleanor in the morning was a tradition.

“That is good. I enjoyed the celebration before I had to go to Muses.” Eleanor looked down.

Matilda's jaw dropped. “You're blushing. Oh my God you're blushing! You don't even blush after a satyr orgy!! That must have been one amazing Beltane.”

“It was.” Eleanor looked back at the boggan, cheeks still pink.

“Oh my God!  So what happened?”

“Lord Aziraphale -.”

“You slept with Mr. Stick-Up-Butt?” Matilda noticed Eleanor's puzzled look. “Well that's the scuttlebutt. He's so prim and proper and uptight we all figure he straps a second sword to his spine to keep from slouching. Bet he really cuts loose when his trousers are down.”

“Oh Matilda -“

“Did you help him sheath his sword?” Matilda continued, giggling. (It was talk like this that often gave these morning sessions its “saucy” reputation.) “You're blushing again!! You DID sleep with Aziraphale!”

“No. I did not sleep with him. He asked me to marry him.”

Matilda threw her head back. “He asked you to marry him? What did he have to drink that day? Mr. Stick-Up-Butt wanting to marry you.” Matilda looked at Eleanor.

Eleanor shrugged.

“Well you said no of course.” Matilda drank from her mug.

“Aziraphale and I are getting married.”

Matilda spit coffee all over the kitchen table.

“You're WHAT?!”

“Matilda-“

“You haven't slept with him and you're going to marry him!?”

“He is very traditional -

“Have you gone insane?"

“No.”

“You can't get married.”

“Yes I can.”

“But you've avoided marriage all of your life!”

“That was before Aziraphale.”

“He has a reputation for being a heartless monster!”

“He's not.”

Matilda was on her feet. “Oh no you don't! You know you can't change a man just because you love him-“

“I don't want to change him, Matilda, I want to marry him.”

“Oh my God! This is not happening!” Matilda began to pace her kitchen sanctuary. “I am going to wake-up any minute now and this horrible nightmare will be over.”

“Matilda you know I have been ordered to marry-“

“It's the Count. He's making you do this.”

“Well I did ask him for help-“

“Oh my God you did what?!??!”

“He's my liege lord and he has to approve my marriage!”

”He doesn't have to approve of anything-“

“Well of course he does and he's the one who suggested Aziraphale!” Eleanor was at the refrigerator, loading ice cubes into a two damp cloths.

“Ah HA! See?!? He's making you marry one of his flunkies!”

“Yes, Aziraphale is sworn to him. But that also means Aziraphale is known to him so His Excellency doesn't have to worry about a new noble coming into his land.”

Matilda had paced herself back to the kitchen table. “Oh my God you're going to marry a Varich!” She fell back into her chair.

Eleanor came behind her, placing one of the cloths on Matilda's forehead and one on the back of her neck. “Yes, I'm going to marry a Varich and I want to marry a Varich. You know I have to turn myself into breeding stock.” Eleanor sat next to Matilda, still holding the cloths. “Yes, I have avoided that all my life but I can't anymore and Matilda I am besottedly in love with Aziraphale.”

Matilda looked Eleanor square in the eye. “He's enchanted you.”

“No he hasn't-“

“Yes, he has he has enchanted you. You need to see someone quick. Someone in House Eiluned should be able to correct this.” Matilda began to once again build up steam. “I didn't think Old Stick Up Buttocks was a sorcerer but House Varich does have a lot of tricks up their sleeves and he has a very shady past.”

“Matilda he did not enchant me.”

“Well then you've gone insane.”

“I am not insane.” Eleanor began to laugh.

“Have you seen yourself?” Matilda's hands were now holding both cloths to her head. “You're goo-goo eyed, red cheeked ---- saying things like besottedly in love – actually thinking about having babies.”

“I'm suppose to have babies.”

“He's a baby killer.”

“Oh he is not. He doesn't go out and kill babies as a nightly hobby.”

“And you're going to have babies with him.”

"Well that is the plan.” Eleanor smiled.

“You're blushing again! Oh my God! Who are you and what have you done with the Baroness?!”

“I know this is strange coming from me.”

 “Strange? ” Matilda snapped her fingers. “Wait, I know. You can't get married because you could never be faithful.”

“Matilda, I want to be faithful to him.”

There was a pause.

“It's the Apocalypse.”

“Matilda.”

“It's the Apocalypse and someone has swiped your body. Defayne! Defayne did this to you. It's all over! The Shadow Court is here! God in Heaven the Sky IS Falling! Aziraphale has blinded my lady so that House Varich can destroy Highground!” Matilda's hands were raised in the air, still clutching the cloths.

Eleanor began to laugh. She put her head in her hands and leaned on the table. There were tears running down her face as she watched her frantic housekeeper. “Matilda I may very well be making one of the biggest mistakes of my life and I may very well be turning into one of those women who become idiotic and forget themselves when they fall in love but it has happened. And all I can do now is go with it. If Aziraphale does have evil intent upon me and/or Highground then I shall have to deal with it when it happens. Besides, the Duchess has ordered me to have children. And well, I was in love with Aziraphale long before I was ordered to become a broodmare.”

Matilda's head was on the kitchen table. She spoke into the wood. “Tell the Duchess to have her own damn children.”

Eleanor giggled. “You have no idea how close I was to doing just that.”

Matilda looked up as Eleanor took her hand. “And they say you have no self-control.”

“I love him, Matilda.”

“Oh God –“

“He's the only man I have ever wanted to marry and be faithful to and have children with – “

“OH GOD –“

“I think the Dreaming wanted this.”

Matilda patted Eleanor's hand as she looked the Baroness in the eye. “It's the Apocalypse.”

Smiling, Eleanor stood-up and coffee in hand began to leave the room. “I'm going to work-out now. Then shower, check the stocks, and, oh gosh, I think I have to start planning a wedding.” She walked out of the room beaming. “I wonder what Aziraphale wants” could be heard down the hall.

Matilda slumped in her chair. “Oh God. It's the Apocalypse.”