“Of Redcaps and Safeways”
Takes Place Mid-April Before Beltane, 2006
by Margaret Lion, April, 2006
* * *
She was such a nice lady.
That's what Frank always thought when Ms. Lenora Seil would stop at his Safeway to get gas. Over the years they had developed a sort of friendship. She would rarely pay at the pump, but instead come in and chat with him. She kept track of his wife, his children (even sending them high school graduation gifts), and his own well-being. She had encouraged him to apply for Night Manager three years ago with much success. He always looked forward to their 5-10 minute conversations about life as she held her coffee and her keys in her hands and chatted with him. She always smiled and whenever she talked, Frank felt like some of the sparkling body powder his daughters wore floated through the air. (Frank secretly called it “fairy dust.”) He was proud he could keep track of her many cars and always enjoyed her descriptions of her belly dance gigs. He had missed her when she had not visited for almost six months. But when she did come back he could tell by the sadness in her eyes that her “spiritual sojourn” had not been all fun and games.
It was too bad that tonight one of her visits had to be marred by him .
A new obnoxious teenage male was bothering his store. It didn't happen often as Frank's store was in a nicer part of Terre Haute . Plus being a large man with a baseball bat often dissuaded marauders from bothering him or his customers. But tonight, a red-haired, probably 13 year-old, enormous for his age, thug in a studded black leather jacket, ripped dark jeans and a red Mohawk (oh couldn't they get a new uniform?), was threatening violence in his store. The kid was moving through the stock, waving a 20 oz. Coke in his hand when Lenora – she insisted on being called that – entered.
“Hey, whoa, like I bet you can't stop me from taking this stuff!” the brat jeered at Frank, whose response was stopped by
“No, but I can.”
The boy jerked to a halt and stared at Lenora. He began to bob again but this time it looked like he was being restrained. “I can take whatever I want!”
“Yes, you can but that would not be polite. Instead you should sit.”
Suddenly the boy was sitting on the floor. He looked as furious as Frank felt shocked.
Lenora walked up to the counter. “Frank, how are you? How is your family?” The “fairy dust” was falling.
“We are well,” Frank smiled as he put down his baseball bat and began to ring-up Lenora's gas. “Yourself?”
Lenora's eyes widen and she inhaled. “Busy. Seems everyone wants a belly dancer for their weddings these days.” Frank laughed. “I often get invitations to attend AND dance at the same event.”
“Well I'm sure they would be lucky to have you as both a dancer and a guest.”
“Frank, thank you so much! And whenever you need a belly dancer at a family event, you let me know. My gift! Although I would encourage your daughters to finish college first before even thinking about marriage.”
Frank nodded in agreement. “Will you be dancing at your own wedding?” He didn't know where that came from and for a split second was terrified Lenora would be offended.
Lenora's eyes widened. “Well Frank, you never know.”
“I shouldn't have said that-“
“Oh goodness, why not? I've had several people in my life tell me recently the time has come to get married and produce some children.”
Frank chuckled. “I can't imagine anyone telling you what to do.”
“You'd be surprised” Lenora sighed as she took back her credit card.
Frank once again reached for his baseball bat, determined this time to send the hooligan out of his store and also to protect Lenora. However, he was stopped by her voice.
“Young one,” she said to the boy “you should come with me.”
The youth's head jerked up at her with wide eyes. “I don't have to go anywhere with – “ and his mouth froze as his body got up and walked to the door.
“Oh Frank, here's money for his Coke.” Lenora placed $5 on the counter, “and I'll take this bag of potato chips – “
“I like Fritos.”
“ chips too. Young ones are soooo hungry and we wouldn't want him eating the store.” She was giggling when she said that.
Frank was horrified. “Lenora, you will not be safe with –“
“Yes, Frank, perfectly safe. After all, we adults must help the young, don't we?” Fairy dust was falling everywhere.
“Of course Ms. Seil, but if he gives you any trouble –“
More fairy dust. “ Lenora . And Frank, trust me, he won't give me any trouble at all.” Goodness she was easy to believe.
“You take care.”
“You too Frank and love to your family.”
Frank watched Lenora and the youngster walk out of the store and get into her sleek sedan. He smiled all over. He always just felt so inspired and hopeful for himself and his family after he talked with her. She was such a nice lady.
Why on Earth was he holding a baseball bat?
***
“Stop bouncing, sit still, put your seat belt on, AND DON'T HARM MY CAR!!” The redcap felt horror for the first time in two years as his body followed the orders given by the pointy-eared woman driving the incredibly fine car he was now in.
“Filthy, nobility” he finally muttered at her since the rest of him could only obey .
“I assure you, I did bathe today.”
“Very funny, bi – OUCH!”
“You don't know me well enough to call me that” she informed him.
“I refuse to be under your spell!”
The woman sighed. “Since you are under sovereign, you don't have much choice. I'll keep you under sovereign until I'm sure you will behave.”
There was a pause. He had never been in this situation before. He had always avoided nobility. “When did you chrysallize?” the woman asked.
The youth slumped in his seat. He was powerless to not answer her. “Two years ago. In school. Passed out during second period and when I woke-up in the nurse's office at the third period bell, I was this.” Now why was he talking to her? Geesh. He was behaving as badly as that shop keeper.
“I'm so sorry. You must have been in shock.” The woman briefly turned her head to him, her purple eyes showing compassion before she turned her attention back to the road and shifted gears.
“Yeah well I was finally able to beat up Charlie Parkins AND I tore through Jed Brown's gang like they was nuthin'! I mean like I guess I just hit puberty!” A thought crossed his mind. “Are we gonna' have sex? I mean like wow. ‘Cause hey, I'm not a virgin and – “
“No.” The woman rolled her eyes. “And of course you're not a virgin. Virgin means in Latin “strong woman” and you are not a woman.”
“Glad you noticed. And I don't want you anyway. You're too old!”
The woman grinned. “What's your name?” she asked.
The youth squirmed. “I go by Raphael.”
“Teenage mutant ninja turtle” the woman murmured.
“Huh?”
“A cartoon on TV several years ago. It was about four turtles and rat that were transformed by toxic sludge into human-size beings with mad martial arts skills. They were all named after famous Renaissance painters.”
Raphael felt defensive. “Hey it's my name and it's not gay.”
“There's nothing wrong with being gay.”
“I'm not.”
“In fact, it is perfectly normal.”
“I'm not gay!”
“Ok.”
“Are you?!”
“No.
“Well you're still too old for me!”
“Of course.” She was smiling.
Raphael sat quietly in his seat and continued to examine the woman. He finally got up the courage to ask “So why did you pick me up?”
The woman turned briefly to him again. “You're a childling and you need a home.”
Raphael squirmed. “I'm not a child.”
She cut him off. “Yes, you are. Now where are you from? I haven't seen nor heard of you before now.”
“White Oaks” Raphael snarled.
“Oh” the woman nodded. “When did you enter Highground?”
“Two days ago,” Raphael mumbled. “I heard the baroness is nice and decent to commoners.”
“I try, “ the woman sighed.
“Sheeeeee-it no way!!! You're Baroness of Highground?” Raphael felt like jumping out of his skin at his situation. He had heard the Baroness of Highground was nice, but he was under her power now and was not sure if this was how “nice” nobles behaved. The only time he had seen a noble a friend had been beaten to death.
“I am Baroness Eleanor Elise ap Eiluned of Highground and if you are going to stay here you will be under both my protection and rule.” See looked him straight in the eye and he noticed the deep purple color.
“Anything else about you purple?” Oh come on, she was actually talking to him and hey he had to try. No other noble woman had ever paid attention to him before. Well he hadn't been around nobles before.
“Yes,” she smiled, “but you do not need to know what they are. Now listen, I am going to take you home with me –“
“I knew it, I knew you wanted me!”
“No,” she said patiently, “there are other redcaps, like you, who live on my land. They will help you find your way as a redcap in Highground. For your information, Highground is part of the County of Ardendale and I, and therefore you, if you stay, are a subject of Count Vladimir Shiraev ap Varich. The redcaps you will be spending time with are V and Triza. The man is named V and the woman is Triza. Listen to Triza. Do what she says and if V tells you to do something, check with Triza and/or myself first.”
“Hey you can't tell me what to do!”
She looked at him. Raphael felt obediant .
“Oh yes I can. In Highground, my word and my will are law.” She met his eyes. “Unless of course you would like for me to send you back to White Oaks-“
“No,” Raphael pouted. “You nobles are everywhere, aren't you?”
“Yes, we are.”
Raphael pondered this. He then realized he had eaten the bag of chips the baroness had given him and the Coke. And their respective containers. “Anyone ever tell you what to do?”
“All the time.” The baroness sighed.
“Nobility is fucked up –“
“Yes, it is.”
“Unless you are a noble.”
The baroness looked straight ahead. “Many sidhe feel that way.”
Raphael looked away from the woman as she pulled into a long, private driveway. It seemed the rumors in White Oaks were true. This baroness seemed kind (whatever that meant) and fair-minded. He noticed that they were driving towards a very large house. “Holy Shit! Do you live there?”
“Yes. This is the ancestral home of my mortal seeming.”
“No way!”
“Yes, way.”
Raphael gaped in the darkness. For a baroness she sure did talk funny. Or did all nobles talk this way before they gutted you?
She parked her car in a large garage with many other fine cars. “Don't touch” she warned as they got out of the car and began to walk across her land. Even though it was dark the light from the mansion made it easy to see. Eventually, the two fae came to a trailer hidden in the trees. A wolf howled, making Raphael want to jump out of his skin and simultaneously run howling through the woods. The lights in the trailer were on and the baroness knocked on the door.
The door opened and fierce red-haired woman stared out at the baroness and then at Raphael. “Hey BEE” she said to the baroness.
“Triza.” the baroness inclined her head toward the redcap. She extended her hand to Raphael and said to Triza, “I have found a redcap new to the barony. This is Raphael. I would appreciate it if you would show him how to be a redcap in Highground and Ardendale.”
“Oh great, just what we need another mouth to feed,” Triza grumbled as she placed an entire apple in her mouth, chewed once, and swallowed. “Come on in kid.” Raphael felt himself pulled and pushed into the trailer by both women. “I gotta be nice to ya' ‘cause of her” the redcap pointed to the baroness. Then she gave Raphael a very toothy grin.
Raphael turned and looked at the baroness. He was utterly confused. He had had only one friend in his whole life, another redcap, and they had spent all of their time struggling and fighting to stay alive. Generosity was something he had heard of, not experienced. Was this Triza going to torture him for the noble's amusement?
“You can trust her,” the baroness said. “I do.”
“I promise not to eat you, kid.” As the door closed, the baroness heard Raphael ask “Do you have any hubcaps?”
The baroness made a mental note to check the status of all of her hubcaps in the morning.
She sighed and began to walk home. Great. Another mouth to feed, another soul craving glamour. Oh well. Baroness Eleanor Elise ap Eiluned of Highground had encountered this problem before. She always took in refugees and strays. Her Goddess Freya took in the homeless and gave them homes; adopted the orphans and gave them family and honor. So did Eleanor.
She vanished into the night.