"Understanding"
Takes place at 1:45 am, day after the passing of Petros and Gawayn
in the freehold, Mary's, in Highground
by Justin McNeely, June, 2006

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(Story narrated by Sir Jain Galewarden ap Fiona)

After a day like this, all I want is to sleep. I want to be able to walk down that familiar hallway, enter my chambers, crawl into bed and lose all semblance of consciousness. Today wasn't the worst day by far, but it wasn't a good one either. Death's hand was felt too much today. Too many tears were shed over lost friends and lost loves. The world lost heroes today. And while I didn't really know them in life, their deaths weighed more heavily on my heart than normal. Maybe it's a byproduct of coming back after so long only to find those people with whom I could have had acquaintance quickly falling. Whatever the reason, I feel their loss in my own heart directly.

At least Petra is safe. She'll need time to heal, but she'll be fine. That was my biggest worry, that I would have arrived too late to save her. I've not told them, though I'm sure they know, but BEE and Petra are the only family I have left these days. And though no oaths of family have been spoken between us, those bonds are still there.

As I turn the final corner and enter my hall I finally feel the crushing exhaustion that had threatened to take me all the day. The knowledge of my bed so close by is what does it I think. My fingers barely have the strength to close around the doorknob.

Light is shining behind the slowly opening door. What is this? Why is my light on? I open the door the rest of the way and wearily make my way inside. I make the regular motions; hat on the hat stand, coat on the chair, shoes off at the door. I have only one thing in my vision and that's the huge bed in front of me.

“Just where the hell have you been all day?”

I know that whisper. And I know that it's supremely pissed off. I turn around to face the figure sitting at my desk.

“What are you doing here Claire?” I ask. I don't even have the energy to be suspicious of how she got in.

“Waiting for you, is what I'm doing. Ellie told me you'd gone to some party in Muses, but she said you'd be back way before now.”

Ellie? Oh hell, just how close had those two gotten in the past month? I've never known anyone to be able to call BEE that. I'm not even sure Matilda is allowed to call her ‘Ellie.'

“Claire, it's been a really long day. You have no idea, how long. Can we save the argument for tomorrow? I'm sure you can find a room nearby and can come ‘yell' at me when I've recovered.”

“No, I think I'm going to ‘yell' at you now. Sit down if you want, but don't you dare fall asleep on me.”

Christ, I'm really not going to get out of this am I? Fine, I'll play along. I sit down on the edge of the bed.

“Why didn't you take me along?”

THAT'S what this is about? She's mad that I didn't take her to Willowgrove with me? Wait a minute, I don't like where this is headed…

“Claire, I'm sorry I didn't bring you along, but after what happened today I'm damned glad you weren't there.”

Uh oh, that wasn't the right thing to say. Great, not even five minutes and she's already jumped to the wrong conclusion. I can see it in her eyes. I should check this out, I think it's a world record.

“Oh really? Glad I wasn't there to see you having a good time with all the satyrs? Or do you just keep that for the special occasions?”

Wait a minute? Is she jealous about something that happened before I even met her?

“No Claire, that's not at all what I meant.”

I unbutton the shirt I'm wearing to reveal the purple welt covering most of my chest.

“This is why I'm glad you weren't there. It hasn't been a pretty day and I'm really not in a mood to be scolded for something that happened before I even met you.”

At the sight of the ugly wound, her face softened immediately. She stands up and quickly comes out from behind the desk.

“What happened to you today?”

Concern, finally. She walks over to me and kneels down to eye level. I assume it's to inspect my injury. Perhaps to make sure I'm really okay.

“Yes, there was a party today. And it was in Willowgrove, not Muses, but that doesn't really matter. Kaye and...” I take a breath here “Gawayn were celebrating their newfound release from fealty. We received a grogan saying that Petra and some others were in grave danger. They were being chased by the Red…”

SLAP!!!

I wasn't expecting that.

“And you just went off without thinking! You rushed off to possibly be killed at the hands of the Fomori and didn't think of the repercussions that would have resulted!”

Wow. I've never seen her this angry. I wasn't aware that Sluagh could get that loud.

“You didn't think of me!”

She's crying now. It all makes sense now. She's not mad that I did something incredibly reckless. I understand finally. I put my arms around her. She yields, crying, onto my shoulder.

“I'm sorry Claire. But I couldn't just leave her. She's my family, just as much as BEE…” I pause, take a deep breath, and wait for the worst…”just as much as you. Would you have done differently for me?”

She looks up at me with tears still in her eyes. God, those eyes are beautiful. In that moment I see all at once everything that made me fall in love with her. And in those beautiful eyes I see that which I have never seen before. I see love reflected back in them.

“Of course I would have done differently. I would have been with you from the beginning.”

Her hand reaches up and softly touches the red mark she made earlier.

“I'm sorry for that. I was just so...”

I cut her off with a finger on her lips.

“I understand, Claire.”

The hand on my cheek slides to the back of my neck and pulls my face closer to hers…